nothing like this ♥

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY! in advanced. ha.
i dont see the good in good friday with tons and tons
of weekend assignments. this is not good man. =_=

today was almost perfect.
first 2 periods, was free period. got bored looking at
art students doing their art, i went out to get clean
and definitely cold air. it was just me and atiqah at first.
then came rebecca, then valerie, then alvin, then jolene.
we're rather musical today. we sang 'i believe i can fly'.
we sounded like acapella. just a lil bit more nicer. haha.
and we sang to mrs ong when she came into the class.
she said we're cute! hahaha.
and we sang 'always look on the bright side of life' in class.
i dont know why. we just sort of sing and then the rest join in.
ive gotta admit, i had fun. =)

sad to say, it was temporary.
i had my usual moodswings. and i got mad at that usual person.
sorry my dear. but thanks to rebec for your shoulder.
i did shed some tears. stopped half way though. ha.
i dont really know what is wrong with me. i feel so.. moody.
anyway. borrowed this book today.

chapter 1 : EMOTIONAL BASKET CASE.

have you ever just felt like you couldnt handle whats coming your way?
like your emotions were spiraling out of control and you were powerless
to do anything about it? when you feel this way, its easy to think you're
completely alone and that no one else could or will understand what its
like to be you. but take solace.. everyone feels this way at some point or
another. they just handle it in a different way.
even people who seem to have it all,
can be secretly living in a world of pain.

SILENT SCREAM ;

outside, you see me smiling
and floating through each day,
a little tired, a little thin,
but overall, okay.

but you dont hear my anguished thoughts,
which surface every night.
they plague me, haunt me, torment me,
till im too weak to fight.

and so, the next day, i come to school,
with deeply shadowed eyes.
i smile, i laugh and speak on cue,
living in a pack of lies.

a silent scream echoes inside,
reaction to my lie-
till with no warning, it erupts,
and i crumble down and cry.

come find me, help me, make it stop-
no! keep out, go away!
for if you come, ive no control over the words i say.

cant you hear my silent scream,
decipher what i hide?
so come and ask me what is wrong,
come sit down by my side.

if nothing else, then please read through
this tangled web i weave.
for you are really not the one im trying to decieve.

help me-
i dont know what i want.
ive lost my guiding light.
please hold me, let me cry and say,
"somehow, you'll make it right".

perhaps, deep down, i know whats wrong.
what keeps me awake.
what is the source of all my tears,
and ever-there heartache.

but not yet can i face it,
or maybe i just wont.
please, someone, help me understand-
God only knows i dont.

people lie to themselves because it may temporarily make them
feel better. but in the long run this kind of denial will only
prevent you from getting on with life.

i'll continue the rest of the chapters soon.
this whole book sorts of tell me how im feeling right now. =)

FALY.
go figure. =)

the sites.
alvin amani an atiqah fana jolene liyana martin muneera norvan raudhah razzan sally shilarock suehailah syidah valerie yuni zameerul

Designer : Chili.
x o x o