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Saturday, May 16, 2009
the past 3 days wasnt great for me. it was undescribably horrible. i dont even know where to begin. i dont even know if i should start. i dont wana start crying again. ive stopped for atleast 2 hours already. the pain is killing me.. i miss my boy. i miss him so much. i miss his voice. i miss his smile. i miss his laugh. i miss his singing. i miss his hair. i miss his awesome smell. i miss his stupid jokes. i miss his bitching. i miss his calls. i miss his messages. i miss his hugs. i miss smelling his armpits. i miss looking at his nose. i miss staring him right in the eye. i miss messing up his hair. i miss touching his face. i miss accussing him of farting. i miss nagging at him. i miss his cheeky look. i miss making deals with him. i miss him singing to me. i miss him biting my cheek. i miss him drawing nonsense on my hands. i miss camwhoring with him. i miss him wiping away my tears. i miss doing stupid faces at him. i miss him doing stupid faces at me. i miss him scolding me. i miss arguing over small matters. i miss him saying, "i love you". i especially miss his presence. we're going through some rocky parts of a relationship. and frankly, im not loving it. im not enjoying every second that we're not talking. i hate facing the fact that he wont be calling tonight or any other nights. i hate to admit we're practically strangers now. i want this to end fast. ive never felt so much pain in my entire 17years of living. i dont want this to continue. i want this to end. right this second. but i know it'll last atleast 1 more week. please, atleast 1 more week. im not strong enough. i cant pretend im fine anymore. i cant continue crying thinking about him. i just cant do it. i really hope things will get better soon. real soon. boy, make a decision quick. i cant wait any longer. i cant keep waiting for your call every now and then. i cant sit by the phone everyday. i cant keep snuggling into your hoodie while missing your hugs. i cant keep looking at your pictures and videos, imagining you're right infront of me. i cant keep hugging your soft toys while remembering why you gave it to me. i cant be this pathetic any longer. i feel like a total loser, waiting for a moment that you'd come back. i dont wana put my hopes too high. i dont wana stop believing in you either. we said we'll make it last. and we will. you promised. i still have faith in you. i have faith in us. we'll be fine. we will, right? please say yes. oh god. thanks Valerie for always always being there for me. you never fail to make things better for me. thanks for the constant advices. thanks for just being there on the phone to hear me cry. thanks for everything. i love you a whole lot more now. =) thanks Razzan for being harsh to me. really, thank you. you did gave me a wake up call. the last few messages from you made me think. and because of you, i already made a decision. thanks for feeling my pain. i know you've been through this before and thanks for the advices. i love you too. =) thanks Zameerul for being so optimistic about all this. thanks for believing in us. thank you so much. i really appreciate it. you helped alot. thanks for the awesome advices and trying to make me feel better everytime. i love you too. =) i love you 3 so bloody damn much. you know what? the 3 of you have something in common. all of you said you hated seeing me like this. and that, has make me love you guys even more. thank you so much, guys. thanks for always being behind me, supporting me all the way. much loves. (: and oh. Adrie, i didnt forget you. you actually did make me smile. for the whole day. that little thing you did meant alot to me. thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you. he did this during DNT exam on friday. he said he didnt wana see me 'dead'. so he cut out this paper girl and gave it to me. he said he wanted to see me smile. that was the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me. thank you, Adrie. thank you so much. it really did make me smile. paper made a great impact eh? ha. =)  and Alvin. he doesnt know this. but he did make my day too. went Valerie's house on friday to slack. he claimed he wanted to celebrate the end of exams. so we watched 2 movies. Mean Girls and Art of the Devil. he laughed at scenes which was supposed to be sad or scary. he made me laugh at his stupid comments. i havent laughed that much since thursday. and thanks for going one big round to accompany me in the bus. thank you. =) right now, i think im gona start crying again. ha. im going through mild depression. neh, i think im going through depression. that is sad. *sigh* please make tomorrow awesome, Val. i need this. im sorry Square Square outing had to be cancelled. i'll make it up to you. i promise. =) okay then. toodlydoo~  you will forever be MY love. |
 FALY. go figure. =) the sites. alvin amani an atiqah fana jolene liyana martin muneera norvan raudhah razzan sally shilarock suehailah syidah valerie yuni zameerul Designer : Chili. x o x o |